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The cops are not heroes

“You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.”  - Harvey Dent The Dark Knight When I was a kid, cops to me were real life heroes. They were the physical manifestation of Batman, Superman…hell, even Gandalf! The point is they were something I knew I could put my trust into because of what they represented to me as a kid. I had neighbors that were police officers, people at my church, schoolmates’ parents were cops, and I was always excited to meet them. I was in Scouts as a kid and I can remember in the back of every Boy’s Life magazine was Scouts in Action! It was the stories of larger than life Scouts, braving the odds and performing life saving feats. Something I always wanted to have written about me. That very solid urge to go above and beyond the normal call of humanity and do something selfless and great for another human. When I was old enough I joined the Police Explorers, and what a rush that was! Here I was as a teenager, sitting in a R
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There go those violent cops again...

"A person who is not inwardly prepared for the use of violence against him is always weaker than the person committing the violence."  - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn,  The Gulag Archipelago  chp 1, 'Arrest' If you've been paying attention to the news, the new buzz word around policing and the law enforcement profession is "police violence".  Even the United Nations is  getting in on the discussion  surrounding use of force in the US, with a heavy focus on the death of Keenan Anderson in Los Angeles, and murder of Tyre Nichols in Memphis. Notice the terms I used. Keenan Anderson was involved in a traffic crash, fled on foot, attempted to enter another vehicle, and was initially compliant with responding officers.  After a short while he suddenly gets up and runs off, and around this same time officers made the determination that he was at fault for the accident.  I watched the BWC footage and I could easily articulate the aspects of gross intoxication (body mov
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Sins of our Fathers

When I was in the Chicago Police academy I had a chance to sit down with one of the training sergeants.  His imposing figure was impressive and he carried himself extremely well, not to mention the stories around him as a blue shirt just added to his aura.  I remember asking him what books he has read that has helped him as a cop, and he was so impressed by the question he told me to stop by after class and we would talk. That led to multiple meetings, book suggestions which I bought, and loaned me several of his own personal books to read. It was the conversations that really hit things home for me and brought me a lot of perspective.  While I was a product of Chicago public schools and City Colleges and had a diverse group of friends, I had never been a cop.  I had enough mentors in my life prior to police work that I knew the best way to learn about a field was to find the person that is intimidating and ask them how they think.  I knew if I could go into the field with the right me
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The Cost of Doing Business (Part 2)

The biggest difference in how officers respond to trauma and death (IMO) is the culture of the department and the supervisors around them.  We all know most first responders and military have a dark sense of humor, sometimes almost to a point it is offensive to people who AREN'T in those same circles. My wife is one of those people who "get" the dark humor, but doesn't actually get it and that's OK.  She helps to keep me regulated in that regard. My first homicide victim was a 19 year old man who was gunned down leaving a corner store after having bought a bag of chips and a red pop of some sort.  I can remember as I was tasked with putting up tape I just stood there staring at this lifeless body wrapped up in a bicycle and leaned against the wall.  I can even remember hearing the shots from the district station.  The hearing of the shots and now seeing this life snuffed out was a weird concoction of sorts. While I didn't know this guy at all, and it was goin
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The Cost of Doing Business? (Part 1)

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Being a cop is stressful a lot of the time.  Chaotic calls, fast paced situations, use of force incidents, shooting scenes, large scale fights, people on drugs or in a state of excited delirium...the stress is just a part of doing business. Then there are the complaints, going to talk to IA or a civilian oversight body, getting pulled aside in the hallway or into the sergeants office for a little chit-chat, or going down to Corp Counsel/city attorneys to talk about the lawsuit and why someone is suing you. More than once I've seen the back side of this door Then there is the ever present risk of injury from hopping fences, crashes in a squad car, being struck when outside of a squad on a traffic stop, and use of force injuries.  Lets not forget that always waiting-in-the-wings chance of being seriously injured or killed by gunfire or a weapon.  Every cop knows what the potential outcome is for an incident, even the "routine" or "mundane" calls that we handle eve
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How to create a toxic police department: 101

  I'm going to preface this entire post with this: This is strictly my opinion, my observations, my experience, and my story.  You may not like it, and while I'd love nothing than to put this supervisor on blast by name, if you know me, you know who this person is because I've been vocal about this since it happened. The other reason is I've always felt that when the upper echelon of supervisors in a department DO NOT lead their people correctly, the toxicity that lack creates disseminates itself into the front line officers.  It is in that toxicity that trauma (job caused or otherwise) festers and comes out as the dark side of policing: addiction, alcohol/drug abuse, violence at home and work, risky behaviors, and far, far too often...suicide. One more point: I'm not writing this for accolades but to give a back story.      My police pedigree started in the 011th district, as for those of you who read this outside of the Chicago Police Department, think of the dist
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My break up letter with Chicago

  When my star was pinned on my chest during the ceremony at the academy I had a great sense of pride and relief.  Relief that the academy was over and I had made it, and pride because I had joined what I felt to be the greatest department this profession has to offer.  Every kid at some point wants to be a cop…along with a firefighter, astronaut, soldier, racecar driver, and so on.  I just wanted to be a cop more than most; my closest friend, also a cop, was the one who pinned my star on my chest and a huge reason I even joined the profession.  The idea to become a cop was solidified at the funeral for 1st Deputy John Thomas as then Superintendent Terry Hillard talked about his friend.  I could see the respect and admiration in how he spoke of his friend and colleague and I wanted to desperately be a part of that fraternal feeling. I knew the job would be hard, not just physically but mentally.  I filled my head with as much knowledge on the human reaction to stress, violence, opposit
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